


three in the morning

by chickencrust



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: ?? - Freeform, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coping, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Past Infidelity, brotp junhao, colleges confuse me im european and also smol, fuc if i know, i guess lmao ???????????????, idk man theyre freshman/sophomores, idk what this is tbh, past seokhao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 04:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7028785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chickencrust/pseuds/chickencrust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>it's almost three in the morning and facebook serves as a reminder of the things that once were</p>
            </blockquote>





	three in the morning

**Author's Note:**

> so this is actually my english final ? i got an A+ lmao  
> our task was to write a text inspired by the quote "life gets easier when you start accepting apologies you never got"  
> and im Hella Gay for xu minghao so
> 
> also i tried to tag minghao & jun but ao3 did Not let me-  
> rated for making out and a vague sex reference

Sleep is not Minghao's strongest suit. He slept fine back in Anshan, his hometown, but after moving from China to America, he has been plagued with mild insomnia. That is probably why he is still staring at his ceiling at 2:30am on a Tuesday. He does not really want to move, because he knows if he moves he will never be able to fall asleep, but he starts doubting sleep will come to him anyways. He turns to his side and reaches for the phone on his nightstand, hoping it could keep him busy until the time came to wake up or he starts feeling tired.

Instagram is rarely interesting in the middle of the night, but Facebook can be funny, so Minghao opens the Facebook app and starts scrolling down his newsfeed, before stopping at a certain picture. It is just a selfie; two boys making funny faces at the camera, but it makes Minghao’s head spin. His body feels like it is stuffed with cotton wool rather than flesh and muscle and nostalgia is making his ears ring (deep inside, Minghao knows nostalgia is a filthy liar; nostalgia makes you forget break ups happen for a reason). Without even thinking, he taps his way to his own profile and starts scrolling through his old photos, scrolling several years back, through his whole college life, until he finds the pictures from his sophomore year at high school.  There’s a certain picture there, a picture of him and one of the boys from the selfie, and the memories alone make his heart beat against his rib cage.

_Minghao had been young and dumb when he first came to America in the summer after his first year of high school, he could remember that clearly. He got into fights and trouble, and when school started and he was sent to the local high school, he was almost 100% certain he would not make a single friend.. He was wrong though, because on the first day he met a boy named Seokmin; another East Asian, interestingly enough, who showed him around and Minghao was secretly thankful. Seokmin defended him when the others made fun of Minghao’s accent (Seokmin had moved from Korea when he was 6, his English was impeccable. Minghao’s was not, though) and helped him with his homework and they grew close within months._

It is a little weird to remember now, because he and Seokmin have not spoken for so long, but Minghao is certain he still has the same smile, the one reaches from one ear to another and can brighten up a whole room. Seokmin was always so cheerful, always tried his hardest no matter what, and Minghao thought it was so beautiful. He would probably still be a street kid, a little thug, if he had not met Seokmin, because Minghao’s main motivation to get out of that environment was keeping Seokmin safe. He keeps browsing through their old selfies, back when Minghao had dyed his hair for the first time and everyone called him Blondie, but after a while he happens upon a picture of roses; a sweet little bouquet of light pink roses and he can still remember getting them as if it was yesterday.

_They were juniors now, Minghao and Seokmin. They had gone from friends to best friends to flirting, but Minghao had thought Seokmin was straight, so he was surprised (but incredibly happy) when Seokmin asked him out on a date. He had bought Minghao ice cream and taken him to the park and told him “stay there!” and Minghao had waited while Seokmin ran off. It was early spring and a little too cold for ice cream paired with the thin hoodie Minghao was wearing, but he still took a bite and waited for Seokmin to come back. When he did, he had got a handful of roses with him and a blush on his face and Minghao thought it was the prettiest thing he had ever seen, so he said yes before Seokmin actually managed to ask._

Reminiscing about his relationship with Seokmin was painful for Minghao. Seokmin had been his sun. Golden skin, bright smile and eyes that always twinkled; he was like an angel. Minghao remembers doubting Seokmin’s feelings, because he was a cynical and moody person, while Seokmin was endless positivity, but he could not distrust someone so loyal and kind. In the end his doubts had been proven right, but Minghao was glad he had actually trusted Seokmin nonetheless. It is almost with a heavy heart he resumes his scrolling, seeing tons and tons of cute selfies and pictures of their dates through their senior year. He passes by graduation pictures, the first pictures of the apartment they got together when they went to college, their class schedules, the first picture of their friend group, and more. Minghao scrolls back to the picture of the friend group. It was Seokmin and his first dance team; a Korean named Soonyoung and another Chinese named Junhui. He wonders briefly if it was natural for East Asians to flock together like this, rather than befriend Americans.

_Minghao had been ecstatic when Seokmin picked him up at the dance studio for the first time. He had pulled him inside by his sleeve and pointed to his two friends and they had been happy to meet Seokmin too. He had introduced them all as quickly as he could and almost held his breath while waiting for Seokmin to actually process the hurried introductions. Then he smiled and Minghao smiled and he thought all was good in the world. In fact, all was so good that he pretended not to see Seokmin staring a little longer at Soonyoung than what was culturally appropriate for strangers._

Minghao feels his stomach turning as the pictures start including Soonyoung. In a way, Soonyoung was the kind of person Minghao had wanted to be. Soonyoung was happy, funny and helpful, while he was quick to anger, had a hard time understanding jokes in English and rarely knew what to say. He did not acknowledge it at first, but in hindsight Minghao thinks he always knew what would happen. He knew it was inevitable, but it still made his throat tight and a feverish feeling spread through his body, so he avoided thinking about it. He wanted to trust Seokmin until the end, after all. Soonyoung too, he had believed in, because Soonyoung was too nice to take Minghao’s sun away. Sober Soonyoung was, at least. Minghao keeps scrolling until he sees a picture he took of the two with big grins on their faces and it makes Minghao feel nauseous.

_They had all gotten closer through the first year. It was Seokmin and Minghao’s freshman year and Soonyoung and Junhui’s sophomore year. Junhui and Minghao became inseparable; two pretty Chinese boys with killer dance moves and gorgeous smiles, while Seokmin and Soonyoung acted like a married couple half the time and they were well known on campus as a gag duo. Minghao had grown close to Soonyoung as well, but he had never managed to shake the feeling of nervousness from how Seokmin looked at him, so they were probably the most awkward pair in the group. It had been okay, though, until Minghao went to pick up Seokmin at a party Soonyoung had invited them to (it wasn’t his party, but Soonyoung said the host really wouldn’t care) and Minghao knew Seokmin didn’t actually drink, so he figured he might as well save him under the guise that he had a morning class and he couldn’t sleep without Seokmin around. After maneuvering around drunken people for a couple of minutes he happened upon a view he would never truly forget. Seokmin was seated on a couch in the back of the room and Soonyoung was straddling his lap and they were all over each other and Minghao turned around and left._

It was not a good memory. It was still so vivid; Minghao can still hear the loud dance music knocking on his ear drums and making his head hurt, he can still feel the thick air and smell the alcohol and sweat. He can still remember every little detail of the sight that shocked him. Seokmin’s arms around Soonyoung’s waist and Soonyoung’s arms around Seokmin’s neck and that glazed look in Seokmin’s eyes. He remembers Seokmin used to get that look in his eyes when he was kissing Minghao, but that was before he met Soonyoung. Minghao knows he always saw it coming, but it still hurt so badly. He pulls the duvet up to his neck to combat the sudden cold he is feeling, as if his very bones just turned into ice. It takes him a moment to gather himself and keep scrolling, seeing as the pictures of Soonyoung and Seokmin abruptly stop and now there’s mostly just random photography and pictures of Junhui every now and then. Minghao wonders if it was difficult for Junhui who was stuck between him and Soonyoung (and Seokmin, but they had never been as close as Junhui and Soonyoung). He pushes those thoughts away and keeps browsing, until he reaches another selfie. This one was taken with a new boy, a younger kid. Minghao can’t help but smile a little, despite his bad mood.

_Minghao was bitter. Minghao had been unpleasant at the end of freshman year and was even more spiteful in the beginning of his sophomore year. He’d taken all his things without even talking to Seokmin and crashed at Junhui’s place and the two still lived together. Apart from a harsh text (“hey if u wanna take Soonyoung home im out btw_ _☺_ _”) after which Minghao had blocked Seokmin’s number, the two hadn’t spoken at all. He had quit dancing with Soonyoung and Junhui and went without a team for a while, but had recently started practicing with one of the new freshmen, a boy named Hansol. He was half-Korean and Minghao speculated if this was the closest he would ever come to truly befriending a white kid. Hansol had been a blessing and dealt with all of Minghao’s pessimism and when he brought his friends along to their practice Minghao thought things were going upwards._

“Jesus Christ, ‘Hao. It’s three in the morning,” Minghao hears someone grumble behind him and he feels an arm slide around his waist and pull at him, until his back meets with a warm chest, “I love you and all, but your phone screen is brighter than my future and you know I have a class at ten.” Minghao turns around to stare at the boy behind him, the boy who’d picked him up after Seokmin left him down in the dumps and he feels his heart beating harder. He can’t help but compare the two and ask himself if he has a type; tall and tan, with a sweet smile. Both were Korean, even.

“Mingyu, you’re going to law school next year. There is nothing brighter than your future,” he responds and he kisses Mingyu’s nose and grins when Mingyu’s face scrunches up. Mingyu was one of Hansol’s friends and he swept Minghao off his feet back in sophomore year. Now, two years later, they are still going strong. Mingyu knows Minghao like he knows his back pocket; almost too well for Minghao’s comfort, so when Mingyu sees his wet eyes and sees how shaky his hands are, he knows what it’s about.

“Seokmin?” he asks and Minghao nods slowly and vaguely notices how his heart still reacts to the name, still beats just a little harder, but it is nothing compared to how Mingyu makes him feel. He thinks he might be ready to move on now, that he has finally ended that chapter in his life and can focus on Mingyu and what he wants to do after college and it is like a burden has been lifted from his shoulders.

“I was going to leave a nice comment on his new picture with Soonyoung, but it can wait until tomorrow,” Minghao responds and puts his phone back on the nightstand. He can see the soft smile on Mingyu’s lips, and he knows this is right. This is what he wants; just him and Mingyu, wrapped in duvets and in their own little world, their little bubble. Seokmin never apologized, but Minghao thinks it is okay. He has already forgiven him anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> ok like i  
> i think this fic is ugly  
> like its nicely written and all but Aesthetic-wise  
> its formal language................  
> proper capitalisation.................................
> 
> i like reading fics like this but ?writing them?  
> no  
> EDIT I DOUBLE PASTED IT OOPS


End file.
